Name
- Swifty
Birthday -
29th September
Height -
6ft
Weight -
Skinny
Eye colour -
Blue, often bloodshot
Instrument played -
Guitar, tambourine
How would you describe yourself? -
Complex
Do you care about how you are perceived? -
Depends on the perceiver
What was your most embarrassing experience? -
There’s not enough room to list them all.
What was your most frightening experience? -
I’ve talked my way out of several
What do you most like? -
Fine ale and conversation. Interesting people.
What do you most dislike? -
Unwelcome attention from lunatics in
pubs
What do you find most annoying? -
People who talk in the cinema. They should be escorted outsied by the usherette,
and shot.
What newspapers do you read? -
The Independent, The Standard, The Observer, and most of the others.
How would you describe yourself politically?
- Liberal, but not wet, left of
centre
What qualities do you look for in the
opposite sex? - Someone like
me, minus the flaws. And they would have to look good in
hipsters! A pulse is a plus point.
What’s your sexual fetish? -
Mind your own business. But if you submit to me I’ll tell you everything.
Who do you fancy? -
Emelia Fox, Gwyneth Paltrow,
Sarah Jessica Parker
Do you believe in God? -
No
Do you believe in life after death? -
I believe in death after life
If there was one band or artist who inspired
you to make music who would that be? -
The Damned
Who are your favourite bands? -
The Damned, Blondie, Marilyn Manson, Sisters of Mercy, Suede, The Smiths, Type O
Negative,
Bowie, T.Rex, The Sweet, Pulp, Richard Ashcroft, Rolling Stones, The Stranglers,
Lords of the New Church
What do you think is the greatest single of
all time? - Baby I Love You by
The Ronettes
Who are your favourite musicians? -
Captain Sensible, Christ Stein, Bernard Butler, John Squire, Jean Jacques Burnel,
Rat
Scabies, Clem Burke
Who are your favourite authors/writers? -
Thomas Harris, Clive Barker, William Peter Blatty, H.P. Lovecraft, Jeffery
Bernard,
Mark Kermode, Edgar Allen Poe
What was the last book you read? -
The Diaries of Kenneth Tynan
What are your favourite films? -
The Thing, Casino, Ed Wood, Hellraiser, Dead Ringers, Andy Warhol’s
Frankenstein, Pale
Rider, The Omen, The Fall of the House of Usher
Who are your favourite actors? -
Peter Cushing, Christopher Walken, Udo Kier, Clare Higgins, Clint Eastwood,
Robert De Niro,
David Warner, Al Pacino, Peter O’Toole, Richard Burton, Gary Oldman, Barbara
Steele
Who are you favourite film directors? -
David Cronenburg, Lucio Fulci, Martin Scorcese, Roger Corman, George Romero,
Dario
Argento
What is your favourite TV programme? -
Have I Got News For You, The Office, Newsnight, Whatever Happened to the Likely
Lads.
What was the best play or show you have ever
seen? - Jeffery Bernard is
Unwell
Who are your favourite comedians? -
Frank Skinner, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Pter Kay, Steve Coogan, Chris Morris,
Stephen
Fry, Monty Python, Ricky Gervais, Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer
What is your favourite food? -
Crab and spring onion salad followed by pan fried Sea Bream washed down with a
bottle of
Chablis. Pies with ale.
What is your favourite drink? -
Theakstones, Courage, Greene
King IPA, Adnams, Becks, Peroni, Brandy (especially when I feel
really dreadful)
What do you most regret? -
One can learn from doing something regrettable.
If you found a wallet stuffed with fifty
pound notes, would you hand it in? -
Yes but I would expect a drink.
If you could give anyone any advice at all,
what would it be? - Sod off quietly